For the last few months, I have not really been blogging for a number of reasons which in itself may seem mutually exclusive of itself.
I have simply not had the time. Work has been exceptionally busy and for some reason, come August, the workload just seems to increase and I have no time for myself until the holidays in December.
I have also been working on my little business and filling my time with websites, logos, company registrations and all those wonderful little things. Every time I want to sit down and start typing a blog post, I think of all the productive things that I can be doing with my time; like work, building my little business, spending time with my family and friends and the one thing that I cannot ever seem to do- SLEEP. I either feel guilty for then wanting to blog or even read a blog or just decide that I don’t have the energy to string any words together that may make any sense at all.
I have also been trying to spend more time offline. I must be honest and say that I have really been enjoying this. The more time I spend offline, the less time I want to spend online. I simply don’t feel the need to record everything that may or may not be going on in my life anymore.
On the other hand, I will honestly say that I do miss interacting with everybody and reading your blogs and what is going on in your lives. I miss being able to give encouragement and in returns receiving encouragement on a particularly bad day. Blogging also helps to clear my mind and helps to relax me.
I have also spent the last two months deciding whether I still want to blog in light of the fact that I have not being blogging for a while. I am debating whether to make my blog private so that it there to return to when I feel like blogging again or whether I should delete it entirely. I can’t seem to make up my mind because deep down I don’t think that I want to get rid of this little blog.
The last few months have had its fair share of ups and downs for me. I have to go and see a specialist about a recurring infection which he is concerned about, especially after the possible, common, causes have been eliminated.
My mother’s RAF trial is to proceed in October and after watching Carte Blanche’s expose on the RAF (the video link is no longer available- sorry), I am not feeling very hopeful. As time passes, the brain damage really becomes more apparent.
My one brother has been retrenched after 10 years with his company. He was the main source of income. It was already difficult for me to support two households and the giant stress ball that I usually am is even more wound up and stressed. I am holding thumbs that he will find work soon but being a white, male in South Africa, work is scarce. And this economy is not doing anyone any favours.
I am excited about my little business venture but also so stressed. I am a perfectionist and also worry about not being good enough. I worry whether I am making a good decision. I keep asking myself what if it flops. Every time that thought enters my head, I repeat this little saying:
There is no success unless you take the risk first. And then I tell myself that Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before he created the lightbulb. Okay- I really hope that I don’t fail that many times. On the side note, I am not leaving my day job- I do love what I do – on most days. I just want to try make some extra income so that I can stop stressing about my family and well , hopefully create a job or two.
Other than that, I am celebrating the little things in life and how blessed I am. There are new and exciting times ahead and I am really looking forward to it.