Dear Yolandi – 5 Years On

Oh, Yolandi – How time flies!

I cannot believe that you left us five years today. Some days it feels like forever since I last saw you and spoke to you and other days, it feels like yesterday.

So much has happened and I have so much that I want to tell you. I miss our conversations. I miss spending time with you. I miss laughing with you. I miss discussing movies and books with you. I just miss you!

Your mom misses you and I don’t really think that she has come to terms with the fact that you are no longer here –even though she tries to be strong for the kids and your dad. I know that she misses not being able to speak to you and your popping in during the day.

Your dad continues to try to be strong for everyone but I can see the hurt and longing deep in his eyes.

I don’t think it is fair to tell you that I don’t think your parents are really doing ok and that I loathe to think of what would become of them if it was not for the kids.

Of the kids, you would be so proud and even as I am writing this, I can almost feel your pride shining down. I can see your smile and hear you say ” those are my kids!”

And proud you should be –you did good!

D is going to Grade 7 next year- can you believe it? How he has grown up. He is a monitor and he is in the academic top ten every term. He passed the term with 80% and he loves maths. He is his mother’s child.

He is not like the other tweens his age. He is so well- mannered and so considerate and he puts J first, even to his own detriment. I know that he misses you every day.

And J, she drives your mother up the wall. You know that your mom always used to say that she hopes that you have a daughter one day that gives you ten times the hell you gave her. Well she got what she wished for except her wish backfired as she now has ten times the hell she wished up on you (in a good way- because I know she would not change a thing).

J is you out and out. She looks like you and she most certainly has your temper. She is always busy and always wants her own way. She has no problem saying what is on her mind. She is also pretty, intelligent, kind, well –mannered and so loving.

D looks out for J all the time and she absolutely adores him. They are so close.

Most importantly, I want you to know that they are well-taken care of and they are loved.

We miss you and life just isn’t the same without you. We are trying to make the best of it and it is not always easy.

 

 

 

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