I want to turn off the world

I have not been in the best of moods lately, and by lately, I meant the last three weeks. It is that type of mood where I do not want to see or talk to anyone.

What makes my mood even worse, is the fact that I am back to not sleeping and my headache from last week has not gone away. I am tired of dealing with everything and everyone. If it is not the one thing going wrong, its another thing and I just cannot seem to catch a break. My mom’s car is broken again and I am just so tired of worrying about my family all the time.

To make matters worse, it really is difficult supporting two families. Although I am on my own, I have my own bond, and expenses to pay, with the added expense of my car, because my previous car had been paid off three years ago.

I don’t mind helping my family because I know that things are really difficult for  them and it’s not as if they are not trying themselves. I am satisfied living a simple life and I make do with what I have but sometimes everything just gets too much. I am constantly worrying about everything.

All I would really like is just a break from everything but the kind of break where I can just switch my brain off and not worry about a thing.

I know if I go see my doctor, the first thing that she will say to me is that I am depressed and put me on anti-depressants. For  a moment I thought about giving in to this because heck I am depressed. I do feel low. I do feel negative and I am really struggling to find that happy, positive person that I usually am. I am struggling to find that silver lining that I always find in every cloud.

I know however that a pill is not going to change the circumstances that are making me feel so negative and ultimately that is what I have to find a solution for.

I just wish that for a moment that I could turn the world off, turn my brain off and forget everything.

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4 thoughts on “I want to turn off the world

  1. Aah one of those days, huh ! I’m sorry that you are feeling this way, This kind of feelings sucks I know. Hope you will have much much better day tomorrow and the whole weekend ! Wish you luck and love ❤

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    1. Thank you for the kind offer. I am sure that I will feel better tomorrow, I just needed to rant to get how I feel off my brain. I will be taking a break in December. I hope that you are doing well.

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