I once tweeted that “the biggest lie ever told to children is that happily ever afters exist”.
As children, we were read bedtime stories; stories about Cinderella finding her prince; Sleeping Beauty and Snow White were awakened by a kiss from their Prince; they lived happily ever after. Even our modern day movies and story lines end with happily ever after. The guy always gets the girl, the girl becomes immortal for the guy so that they can spend an eternity of “happily ever afters” together.
The story told is that “love will conquer all” and no emphasis is placed on how much hard work relationships and life in general really is.
What the fairy tales and movies do not show you is that these “happily ever afters” require work; hard work, and sacrifice; most of the time, a lot of sacrifice. These “happily ever afters” do not come easy to all.
For some there may never be a “happily ever after” or most certainly not in the way it is portrayed to our children.
Life is not always about “happily ever afters” or at least not how they are portrayed in stories and books..
When I initially posted the tweet some time ago, I was at a point in my life where I was feeling very negative; betrayed by my “happily ever after”, disillusioned by life in general and “So much for my happy ending” by Avrille Lavigne would play often in my head.
But I have had some time to ponder this thought in the long nights when I cannot get to sleep.
The truth is that we, as people, tend to look at the wrong things for our happy endings. We look at people, who by their nature are going to dissappoint and hurt us no matter how hard they try not to. At the end of the day, we are all human and are all fallible. We base our happiness on material belongings that can be taken away from us in the blink of an eye.
I have come to realise that only I can determine my happily ever after. Only I can choose what makes me happy and decide what or who I will allow to steal my joy and happiness. The minute I put my “happily ever after” in someone else’s hands, I have relinquished control of it and cannot then complain when my happily ever after is not what I wanted.
The truth is “happily ever afters” do exist, but each person determines their own.