Sometimes, it really sucks being an adult. It sucks having to be the person responsible for making decisions and there is always the question of whether you are making the right decision. Sometimes I long for the days when parents could make those decisions for me.
Last week I received a wonderful job offer from a huge government department. From what I understand, they are deemed to be one of our countries most preferred employers. I will basically be responsible for making legal policy for this government department. They really want me. My assessments were positive to the point where I was told that they could find only strengths and no weaknesses for this position.(which bugs me because honestly everyone has weaknesses). This job is a wonderful opportunity and in 2 years time it can open so many doors for me. It will also mean that I will be able to dictate my salary.
I was very sure about taking this job and but for a few things that I wanted certainty on, I was very confident what my answer would be.
I have been with my present company for more than 9 years. I have never contemplated leaving until about a year ago. For various reasons, I was (am) contemplating leaving practise. I told my boss the day after I received the offer because I felt that it was only fair and right to him. When I told my boss on Thursday, he was shocked and the first thing he wanted to know about was salary. I think that he was expecting my decision to purely be a financial one. He mentioned a few times in that 15 minute conversation that he really did not want to lose me.
When he realised that I wasn’t just basing my decision on finances, he told me it was a good opportunity that could open doors for me and he wished me well. He made comments about me being his runaway child over the last few days and then came to me on Tuesday, said that he is still shell-shocked and that he needed to speak to me as he was not entirely convinced about my reasons for wanting to leave.
He met with me yesterday and told me he was devastated and really didn’t see this coming. He had no idea that I was contemplating leaving. And truthfully I actually never thought there would be a day when I would leave. I was happy and things had changed somewhat in the last year but not so that I was entirely unhappy. I have spent nearly a third of my life here and barring my family , this is my longest relationship.
He has made me a counter-offer, an offer that was actually my dream and which I know comes from the bottom of his heart because I know how he feels about making such an offer. The offer will not be effective immediately though, and I understand and respect his reasoning therefore. I don’t believe that this is the place to discuss his reasoning but I do believe that it is valid and in my interest.
If my decision was based purely on money, this would be very relatively easy because I would go with the highest offer. But it is not; my decision needs to be based on opportunity and where it will take my future.
Both are very good offers, the one being something I have always wanted, the one thing that was my dream, my motivation for pushing through the exams with absolutely no sleep for days on end, the working of 2 jobs to put me through varsity, the sacrifice on my family’s part ( and what sacrifices it was). The other is a fantastic opportunity, one that will open doors and let me dictate my salary, one that looks so fantastic on my cv, one in which I will learn new things and write legal policy, but also one which will see me leaving the practise I strived so hard to be in. I have a few questions about this position because on 3 occasions something different has been conveyed to me.
Both offers have given me the one thing I also wanted: validation.
I am so confused at this stage and my mind says “rather the devil you know than the angel you don’t” but my mind also wonders that if I don’t take the other job offer that I may regret this for the rest of my life.