I am Angry

*This is a vent post*

Yes, this is another vent post, purely because I need to get it out of my system so that I can actually do some work and focus on other people’s problems. And because this is my place to vent.

My youngest brother lost his job in early May. He is currently doing odd jobs because he hates being unemployed.

Yesterday, my mother told me that my eldest brother also lost his job about 2 weeks ago. She thought she told me. Ever since the accident, she either forgets to tell me things or she tells me the same thing a thousand times.

So that is just another worry added to the load of worries I already have about my family on  daily basis.

Add to this the fact that my middle brother is now the only one working in the family. His working hours have caused him to develop a very sever form of epilepsy and obviously the place he works for just doesn’t give a damn.

I feel so absolutely helpless. I help out where I can and send out cv’s etc but it still doesn’t change how absolutely helpless I feel. Work is scarce and being a white male in South Africa, makes finding work even harder.

Tomorrow Mum has to see an eye-specialist because of the problems with her eye-sight. Yes, just another effect from the accident. ( I am however so grateful that she survived and that she is still here).

Yes, I want to rant at how unfair life is. My family is always the first to help everyone. They will give up their last food, the clothes off their backs; always helping to the detriment of themselves. In fact, they took in my low life cousin, who was unemployed because he has three kids and no-where to go.

And it just all makes me cross. Why do bad things always and I mean always happen to good people? Yes, my family certainly have their faults but when do we finally just catch a break?. When does some of that good that they always do, come back to them? My mom always believes that all the good will be returned. My question is WHEN?

I know deep down I should be positive, believe that things will work out, things will get better. I know that there are people with bigger problems; people who have less than the little that my family has. I know that I should be counting my blessings instead of complaining but I’m sorry, today, I just can’t!

I am emotionally and mentally exhausted and my heart breaks every day for my family and their struggles. I really see how hard they work. I see the sacrifices and the tears and the worries. I also see the good and the willingness to help, even when they have nothing. I also know that bad things happen to good people everyday, that is life.

I am just so disheartened with life today.

I just have to believe that tomorrow the sun will shine again.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “I am Angry

  1. Ah I’m so very sorry 😦 I went through something similar with my father many years ago; he sat at home for years with no work, whilst my step-mom worked her backside off. But at least your one brother is trying; my father wasn’t bothered.

    I hope that things come right for your family sooner rather than later xx

    Like

    1. Thank you. I’m going to believe it will- it’s got to stop raining sometime – right?

      I hope that things are looking a little up for you since last week.

      Like

  2. I gave this post a like but it feels so inappropriate now. I know your feeling of hopelessness, mostly because I’m there myself. I thought bad things only happen in threes, I’m waaaaaay past that mark o_0. Anyway before I make this completely about me… all the best for you in this shitty time.

    Like

    1. Thanks. I’m beginning to believe in 7 years of bad luck. I must have broken way too many mirrors.

      I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling like this as well and I’m going to try conjure up all the good vibes I possibly can and send them your way.

      I hope things start looking up for you as well. 🙂

      Like

  3. You have every right to be angry especially when it’s like you have stepped into a big muddy puddle. The wisdom of Anthony Robins said, “Sometimes, things don’t work out exactly as planned – but if you trust in the cycle of the seasons, you know that in the long term you will reap the harvest you have sown.” I know it’s hard and we don’t know when but we can only hope and believe. Blessings to you and family.

    Like

    1. Thanks for that. I am so glad I don’t have your job- What a question to answer. I will be keeping you in my prayers- that you are given wisdom and guidance each time that you are asked that question.

      Like

Say something- you know you want to!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s