I have been spending my last few days with the past. Mostly thinking thinking about my life a mere 10 years ago; what now feels like a lifetime ago; what I sometimes think was just a dream.
I miss my life back then; hard as it was, it somehow just seemed less complicated. Although I know it’s not necessarily true. I was happy back then. I miss who I was.
Believe it or not, but church actually brought on my nostalgia. Not the going to church, listening to a sermon part that brought on this nostalgia, but memories of the church I went to for approximately 17 years of my life. The church that watched me grow from a little girl to a woman. The church that knew all about me and my family history. The church where I had so many friends, had so many laughs and just made so many memories. The church that felt our loss when dad died. The church where I felt home.
I miss the youth camps, the sunday school camps, being youth leader and sunday school teacher. I miss the outreach.
It was good times. Over the last 2 years, with the benefit of facebook, I am reconnecting with some of my friends from church but it’s not the same. I still miss the church.
I wonder if I must make my way back to that church but deep down I know it has changed. What my heart longs for is the way things were. But the thing with life is everything changes, nothing stays the same. That is why we look forward and have to keep moving forward.
That knowledge however does not change that longing feeling in my heart right now.