In the blink of an eye

One thing I still try to get over every day is how fast time flies and how a person’s life can in an instant be forever changed.

On Monday afternoon, I went to see my cousin who is planning to immigrate to New Zealand. I have not seen her since my mom’s 50th birthday party in December 2007.

I am 10 years older than my cousin and my mom used to look after her when she was a baby, until my aunt and the family moved down to Port Elizabeth just before my cousin turned 3.

Having no sisters (and only 3 brothers), my cousin was like a sister to me and I adored her. I loved looking after her, playing with her and watching KIDEO (yes KIDEO) with her. I was absolutely devastated when she moved.

The thing about seeing someone when they were a baby and then seeing them years later is that you always expect them to be the same. You never expect them to grow up. Every time I see my cousin, I cannot actually believe how she has grown. She is a mother already and I still can’t believe that.

It was good to see her though- even if not for every long.

On another note, my heart broke on Monday after for 3 little children. It was my other cousin’s sons birthday on Friday. As my mom looks after my other cousin’s kids, I also got to see them. I made a fuss about J and asked him how his birthday was. He went on to tell me what he got for his birthday; a Robot and a truck with cars and then he went on to say that he got cars from his father. Well, I will never forget the look of utter and sheer disgust that his sister, E, gave him. “What?” she exclaimed. “J, you never got any presents from mommy or daddy- they never do anything for us!”

My heart absolutely broke. Whilst I grew up very poor and there was not always ( which was most of the time) money for birthday or Christmas presents, my parents always made the effort on our birthday and tried to make us feel very special. When we were very young, E and J’s age, they made sure we got a birthday present, no matter how small and even if it was only for R2 or R5. It was always the thought that counts. Whilst I know my cousin doesn’t always have money (and despite the fact that he can find money for alcohol and drugs), the least he could have done was made a fuss over his son. But sadly nothing.

It breaks my heart that a little girl of just over 5 can already be so disgusted with her parents and has already formed an opinion that they don’t care about their kids.

Have you ever lost touch with someone or seen someone last when they were a baby and still expect them to be that small when you see them again?

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