I think that certain situations in life or even certain people make you forget who you are, what you like or make you compromise yourself. This may be a new relationship, a marriage, a friendship or even work.
You find yourself making sacrifices for the sake of making the relationship work or because you love the person who you are with or for that long awaited promotion.
Over the last few years, I have certainly found myself sacrificing who I am for the people in my life; because I love them and want to see them happy. I’m certainly not saying that making sacrifices for the people that you love is bad, but when you lose your self-worth, and compromise to the extent of forgetting who you are, then I do not believe that this is healthy.
I have also found myself sacrificing for the sake of my work, not necessarily my career, and with almost no return.
More and more, I find myself wondering who I am.
It’s a simple question and yet it is the most difficult question for me to answer.
My answer is first an foremost: I am an attorney, notary and conveyancer- I have let my work define me.
I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a godmother, a friend- now I have let people define me.
So who am I?
I have decided that I need to remind myself who I am. This is the only way that I will find myself again.
I am a woman; I love deeply and hurt easily. I trust too quickly and usually forgive just as quick unless you have pushed me to the point where I can no longer forgive you.
I am happy in my own company. I am quite content to spend time by myself, just reading or watching movies. I am happy in my own home and don’t enjoy being out every minute of every day. I’m not the proverbial social butterfly. I’m exceptionally shy although I am coming out of my shell more and more. When you know me, you would not believe that I am actually shy.
I don’t trust easily.
I love to cook – it relaxes me. I especially love to bake. I feel closest to my parents then. I love decorating cakes. It’s my happy place until I see the end product – then I’m not happy. Because I’m a perfectionist and exceptionally critical of myself.
I am very hard on myself and don’t forgive myself as easy as I forgive others.
I love to read.
I love butterflies. And gekkos.
I enjoy country music.
I love the beach and the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks. I could watch and listen to this for hours.
I love children and spending time with them.
Blue used to be my favourite colour. Now I just don’t know what colour is my favourite as I love colour. I prefer pastel colours for now.
I love the stars.
I love spinach.
I love lavender and would make my entire garden lavender if I could.
And I’m discovering more about myself as I force myself to think about Who I am everyday.
From now on, I am the only person who defines me!