Growing up I had my life all planned out. I knew exactly what I wanted to become and I sort of had a plan how to get there.

I always wanted to be a lawyer. It was the first word that I could spell by myself and I lived in the world of LA Law and Ally McBeal.

Growing up was difficult. I don’t come from a well-off family and I knew from a young age that if I wanted to be a lawyer, I would have to make it happen for myself. I knew that this would require hard work, dedication and sacrifice. I didn’t mind any  of this. I had a plan and I knew where I was going.

I grew up and getting to varsity proved a challenge to say the least. But I got there. I worked my holidays to pay for textbooks and everything else I needed. In my second year, I managed to work as a tutor for the university and worked until I finished University.

Phase one of my dream was complete. I had my degree. Now for phase two of my dream.

I wanted to complete my articles, write my admission exams and then go on to complete my exams so that I could also be admitted as a notary and conveyancer along with being admitted as an attorney.  This was in itself was also a feat as I was working twelve hour days, would have to study in the evenings and had to work over weekends as my salary was barely covering my petrol to work.

But I made it and time flew. Two years later I was admitted as an attorney, notary and conveyancer.

Onto phase three of my life plan – my master’s degree. I always wanted to do a master’s degree and the degree that I chose was  four year degree. So far, my life was going according to plan.

The next phase of my life would be to get married and have kids before 30. MMM and that’s where the spanner was flung into my plans.

At 31, life has given me a few knocks and the last five years have shown me that life never goes according to plan. I have lost a lot of people that were close to me and somewhere along the way, I have lost myself. I lived my whole life for a dream that I have achieved, barring one.

Whilst I might have my career and have achieved the dream that I worked towards literally my whole life, I feel lost.

Now the next phase of my life is about finding myself and then finding a new dream.


5 thoughts on “I HAD A DREAM

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